Nursery Woes

A year and half.  18 months, 1 year 6 months old.  The day every LDS parent looks forward to because that is the day that children are allowed into NURSERY (queue heavenly choir)  

For months and months and months we battle with our toddlers, chase them around gospel doctrine, relief society, Priesthood.  In our case the last few months its been rather tricky since TJ and I both teach classes so you can imagine how excited we were to get Reecey into Nursery.

The week before she was official I took her in during Sunday School to see how she would do.  She sat on the big girl chair at the big girl table eating her big girl snack.  I could tell she felt rather fancy doing all this big girl stuff.  Then came singing time where she participated in twirling around, clapping her hands and poppin that corn on the apricot tree!  Then into the next room for toys.  This is where I left her happy as a little clam.  10 minutes later she realized I was gone and started to cry.  They took her to TJ.

Week 1--officially in Nursery.  We walked in, she cried.  After holding her and soothing her she sat on her own in her big girl chair, at the big girl table, eating her big girl snack.  I leave.  Not 5 minutes later one of the leaders brings her to me.  I return but when singing time came she participated from my lap while watching all the other twirlers, clappers and popcorn poppers.  We moved to the toy room.  She went and played, I left, she cried.  BUT she was official.  The leaders were required to have more patience this week so they settled her down and kept her the rest of the time.  When I picked her up they said she did pretty good.  She would cry when someone else would cry but other then that she was GREAT!

Week 2--Door opens, Reece cries.  I decide to stay.  Every time I try to put her down screaming and death grip occurs.  I try to have her sit on her own with me next to her but she is having none of that!   She sits on my lap.  Every movement causes her to fuss.  Obivously leaving last week didn't sit too well.  There is no big girl chair at the big girl table eating a big girl snack.  There is minimal participation during singing time.  We go to the toy room, I leave.  She clings to the nursery leader's husband and won't let him put her down, so I'm told.

Week 3--Its time for tough love!  (besides that I'm kinda mad at her cause she was a BRAT during Sacrament meeting.)  I take her in, sit her down and leave.  I can hear her screaming in the hall but don't really care.  Not 2 minutes later same leader from the last time brings her to me.   This really irritates me becasue they're not even giving her a chance!  Anyways, I take her back in and she cries even with me there with her.  She finally settles down but if I move 1 single muscle she cries.  I get told by one of the leaders that I ought to stand her up to participate in singing time because if I don't she'll never get used to it.  I think, BACK OFF LADY.  Don't tell me what I "ought" to be doing with my own kid!  (nice right?)  Singing time ends, time to go to toys.  I take her to the toy room, hand her over to a leader and leave.  20 minutes later one of the leaders brings her to me.  She's asleep, she's wimpering in her sleep.  During the hand off she wakes up and sits happily on my lap in Young Womens.

Week 4--I tell her on our way to nursery that I'll stay with her.  We walk in, she goes supersonic, not breathing, face bright red cry.  I turn around and walk out with her in my arms. She sits on my lap and my mom's lap in Gospel Doctrine and goes to Primary with Dad while I'm in Young Womens.

So there it is.  With my other kids I made them stick it out.  I thought it was a good way for them to learn.  I still think that.  I think leaving kids in the care of other responsible people builds character, builds confidence and makes for well adjusted children.  I think it teaches them that mommy and daddy leave, but they WILL come back.  I'm not one to coddle my kids and let them run the show but with Reece its different.  

I feel very strongly that she simply is not ready.  She is traumatized by the whole nursery experience.  I think she's overwhelmed with all the kids in there, I think our nursery is under staffed and I think she's confused by the way they run it.  (there are 3 nurseries and each one is split by age and on a room to room rotation.  her group starts with a snack and singing time.  then they move rooms to play with toys and then after toys they move rooms again to lesson/coloring time)  

After talking with a woman in my ward whose little girl also had a very hard time with nursery and pondering on it myself I've decided to keep Reecey out of nursery for a little while.  I'm going to try every other week or so to get her to go but if she becomes hysterical I'm not going to push it.  As I explained earlier this method is completely opposite of my personal parenting philosophy and style, which brings me to my point...as mothers we have the unique ability to know what our children's needs are.  I think often times we know this because we know our children but other times I think we are blessed with revelation from our Father in Heaven because He knows our children better then we do.  I know that the insight I have had about Reece in regards to nursery has come from the Spirit.  I know that I've received revelation into what is best for her, even though it isn't what I would normally do.  And I'm grateful that something as inconsequential as a toddler having a hard time going to Nursery is important enough to Heavenly Father to bless me, as Reece's mother, with the insight I need to do what is best for her.  It shows me that He is aware of her needs and that He loves her and that He is aware of my needs and that He loves me too!